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The Mom Having a Rough Day


Today, I was that mom. It was me.

We were having a rough morning. We've hardly left the house in three months (something to do with a newborn in sick season, I'm sure) and boy had it started to wear. Meltdowns for him, patience lacking for me, so I decided we needed out of the house to beat the winter blues. We went out to the local curiosity museum where there's all kinds of activities for kids of all ages.

It was going really well - he was having fun. He was dancing. He was playing with textured sand. He splashed at the water table. Yes - this was exactly what we needed.

And then it happened.

He wandered back to the textured sand activity and decided he wanted to play. "Wait your turn," I said, seeing that all three stools were taken. I looked down at my baby in the carrier, making sure he was awake and as I looked back up it was too late. He had run over to one of the stools that a little girl was standing on and shoved her off so he could have a turn. I stepped out just in time to catch her safely - but of course, she was crying. I would too. Cade stopped short, realizing something had just happened but not exactly clued into that it was something HE had done - and that something was not okay.

I bent down to make sure the little girl was alright, and apologized to the closest mom who had reached out to help, since I was already holding a blanket, a coat, and supporting my infant's head. "Nice catch," she said.

"Oh, I'm so sorry..." I replied.

"She's not mine." Nonetheless, she took that little girl, loved on her, and looked for her mom.

As this was happening, I knelt down to Cade and explained that we don't ever, ever push people. I explained that he had hurt her and made her sad, and when we do something unkind, the fun stops and he needed to go make it right. I put his coat on and walked him over to her.

The little girls mom was walking over, and I'm sure she was perplexed when she saw my toddler standing there petting her daughter's arm. I expressed my apologies and then this mom, bless her, said something I wasn't expecting. I thought she would give me a tight-lipped smile, whisk away her child and eye me from across the room. Honestly, that's what I probably would have done.

Instead, she picked up her little girl, walked over to me, and looked me in the eye. "Oh - it is so okay. Life happens. I'm not even worried about it." and gave me a sincere smile as I herded my toddler out of the crowded space.

Slack-jawed, I left the museum. And then the guilt.

How many times have I not responded the way another mom needed in the moment? How many times have I let the mama-bear come out, and been completely unaware of how desperately the mom of the offending child wanted to curb the action but stepped in just a moment too late? How often did I judge the parenting of another woman on a single action of ONE of her children?

The answer is shameful, friends. A lot. I've done that a lot.

So I made a resolution on the way home. I want to be the other mom - the one who sees the overwhelm, and the desire to raise good people, and extend a little grace and mercy the next time I'm on the other side. I want to be the mom who acts on an opportunity to lift and encourage another mom, not kick her when she's down. I want to be the mom who other moms are not afraid to make a mistake around.

And I want you to be that mom, too.

Let's all try a little harder to be the person who lifts the other people up. The world needs more of that.
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